Lo and behold the tide does actually turn. The things I have taken for granted can now prop me up to face the beast unleashed. The remaining other things can use every dirty trick know to my mind to try to take me down.
Dramatic, I know. But a week of contemplative semi narration to my own turgid existence is finally now undermined by all the strange emotions that coxist in this, the labyrinth like place deeply hidden in my mind. I feel left for dead at times and now is not much different. A feeling of optimistic hope lasts no longer than the two paracetemol keeping the King of migraines at bay. Indeed, the barriers will inevitably break and the flood waters will cover me in a dirty sheet of murky filthy liquid that smells of defeat. It is only then that I must decide if I am to fight alone and indeed, fight well. I usually do and it’s always alone, before you ask.
You see, in your own mind and your own existence, there can only be you. I mean, other people can certainly come first in your thoughts, but none can stand side by side with you at the direst of times when its your own ridiculousness that is waging war with your sanity. Only you, as much as you can lend yourself to another and as much as you can offer to lay everything down for someone else, at the the very end f the day, it is just you.
This isnt very new, I have learnt to carry on and another day can bring a surprise or two.