What do you say about the life you find yourself in at this present moment. Do you like it? Do you wallow in self-pity, do you rage against the machine, do you sit in quiet acceptance like the condemned man after speaking with his priest? Well, do you?
For me personally at this moment, (because as you know it can change day by day) I would like to think that I’m in an everything is possible kind of mood. You know, 44 with the world at my feet, receding hair, battling the ever-increasing waistline, onset of arthritis, you know stuff that triggers the kind of youthful optimism that I was too young to understand twenty years ago. Now though, the middle-aged man with the slightly more together view on the world, except for the new sense of anxiety that affects nearly almost everything including ridiculous things like the evolution of relationships, mood, hope, energy and so forth. Nonetheless, I am feeling semi-optimistic about my life today and most days recently. I feel like things can be achieved and maybe one day I may reach the legendary status of manic nirvana that I have read and dreamt about in my younger years. I will find some true sense of happiness, I may really find myself and finally find who I really am. And you never know, I may actually like all that I find. On the other side of the coin, I may already be in it and realise that the fractured view of happiness is always exaggerated as to not take away the sense of hope for fear the human race will just halt. An abrupt stop could ensue, therefore, a reneging of any deal made with one’s youthful self and thus, an abhorrence to growth and personal evolution.
Here is the crux of it though. You can’t give in. Even if it is a con on yourself, you must play it out. You must, you see. The other generations to come or that are already here, but too young to understand must work it out for themselves, they must find some way of getting out of the bed in the morning and plowing through the day. The human race depends on it. Well, the human race, if all humanity suffered from sort of crippling anxiety or something akin to it. Anyway, my point is. Keep plugging away. Take the happy bits and cherish them. Keep striving, but enjoy the moment. The path may have an enjoyable turn or two. Go with it.