Partner in crime

Partner in crime

If I think to how I have approached the parenting of my youngest child (41 when born) to the first guy (23 when born). The approach is miles apart. Its like two different people, and in a lot of ways they are. When you are 23 you are immortal, everything is still possible and life doesnt throw big enough hurdles in front of you. When you are 41 you get a sense of your own mortality, you need to eat better, exercise more and live a more pure existence, just to get to old age, then who knows, oblivion? Although, when you are older, you are certainly wiser, a little bit more secure and you plan every detail like you are in the war room before a battle. When you are 23 you roll with the punches and live for today. The only problem with that  is a toddler needs a future that you can at least partially deliver, or mostly if possible. A toddler needs you to carry the burden of all things that can effect that child in a postitive or negative way.  You have to be caregiver, nurturer, breadwinner, entertainer, protector, and educator in every way that allows your child to advance as unburdened as possible in each and every step of their progression. Thankfully most (but not all) of us have a partner to bear some of the burden and lessen the load as it were.  Doesnt matter if your partner is a man, woman, or same-sex. It’s the sharer of all things confusing or treacherous and joint displacer of some of the weight of responsibility that is so very important. Now there are FANTASTIC examples of one parent families that create a huge level playing field for said child, I know, I come from one of those families, and I am very very aware of it. Its like when the team who get a player sent off are notoriously harder to break down as it makes every other part of the team perform better to compensate for any potential situation that may occur. A single parent performs all the parts of the family and therefore is more concentrated to deliver every time. That said, it is clear to me that is far easier when the duties are shared with a partner in a most positive way. Though that comes with its own stresses and obstacles. Tiredness and worry etc can place every couple at odds with each other and their individual opinions on a regular basis. Though with all of this is an education for the self to allow compromise and leave things go so as to maintain a healthy relationship with your most trusted ally. Your partner. Because folks, lets remember this and remember it well. Parenting is along with a lot of other things is a battle of wills with child and its a battle you must win. The very soul of your child depends on it. (Well, that’s probably a tad dramatic, maybe a few behavioral tics or small flaws that can probably be straightened out at some point.) But still, you get my point. Its basically easier to win with someone else to help.

 

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