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Havent spoke about anxiety in a while. That is not to say there hasnt been any about me, but maybe a laziness in updating my thoughts on paper has been the new form for me. I dont know why really, but that seems to be the shape of it. What I do know is that even though Im in my forties and well past my youth, I still feel the same nervousness in situations or prediciments that I did when I was twenty. I dont think that time has made me better at dealing with stress or anxiety, I suppose it has only created it as a norm and therefore it has been formulated over time in the way I deal with it. Not better, I just deal with it the same way always as I have become used to doing so in a similar manner for years now. I dont know if any of you reading this have a more organic way of dealing with your own anxieties. Do you better match a response to its clingy advances as it hooks its way into your mind and begins to stir up those feelings that were best left boxed and dust ridden in the attic of your mind. I dont know if some of you are better at labelling these advances and filing them away where the clammy claws of anxiety cant get at you and fuck you up. Where it cant breakdown any sembelance of happiness that begins to rise from deep inside for only then to hastily squash it in its early genesis for fear that some good may envelope you to maybe lead you on your merry way. No chance of that when anxiety is about. The clammy bastard rages inside like a storm belting at the hatches before they could even be battened down, before you can even prepare yourself as the dark rises and advance on you like an army battle weary and vastly immoral from months of warring over peaceful lands. God forbid, but nonetheless we carry on the fight.

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